Hazbin Guarantee (Trust Us)

Lyrics

\Charlie: Come on in, here's your key

Let me take your bag, wait 'til you see

The hotel, 'cause it's great!

If you parked your car, we'll validate

All our guests are family

Angel Dust: Hey, perv, hands off the chest fluff!

Charlie: That's the Hazbin guarantee

And did I mention it's free?

Alastor: It's worth the price

Vaggie: Al, be nice

Husk: Full of drunks

Cherri Bomb: Full of cunts!

Niffty: Full of sticky floors covered in junk

Charlie: Ha, don't mind them

Angel Dust: No one does!

Charlie: Or that hole

Vaggie: Ugh, Cherri!

Cherri Bomb: What?

Charlie: You've made a great choice to save your soul

'Cause redemption is possible

I really, really hope

'Cause if it isn't, then my whole life's been a fuckin' joke

And my friend died for no reason

And I'm never gonna cope

From watching him get fucking murdered right in front of me last month

Baxter: What?

Charlie: There's a bar!

Husk: What the shit?

Charlie: Have a beer

Baxter: I don't drink

Charlie: I just know you're gonna love it here

Charlie & Vaggie: We can live in harmony

Husk: No, I can't make a fucking Mai Tai

Charlie & Vaggie: That's the Hazbin guarantee

Charlie: Now repeat after me

I'm checkin' in (Hotel Visitors: I'm checkin' in)

I'm seekin' guidance (Hotel Visitors: I'm seekin' guidance)

Come on, everybody!

For my reckonin' ('Hotel Visitors: For my reckonin)

I'll never turn to violence (Hotel Visitors: (I'll never turn—)

I'm checkin' in (Hotel Visitors: I'm checking in)

I'm seekin' guidance

Hotel Visitors: Wait, I like violence

Let's get out of here

That place sucked ass

Vox: Psst, hey, you

Hotel Visitor: Who? Me?

Vox: That's right, baby!

Redemption got you snoring?

That scene was fucking boring

Have you considered a vocation that is more rewarding?

Because I sense a drop of star potential

With a little boost, that drip could turn torrential

Velvette: Come on down to V Tower

Where we have talent flower

Valentino: No tellin' how hot you could get once you're backed by our power

Velvette: Let's start with a killer fit

Let's get filler in those lips

Valentino: Wax that gooch and pull that strip

Valentino & Velvette: A-snip, snip, snip

Ooh, all of Hell's gonna want you

In this game, no one outdoes us

No one can outbuzz us

The Vees: All you gotta do is trust us

(La-la-la) Just us

(La-la-la) Trust us

Vox: Take all these starring roles

Valentino: We trademarked all your holes

Vox & Valentino: There's no such thing as being totally over-exposed

Velvette: Except now they're sick of you

'Cause they've seen way too much

But we'll still get the clicks from souls who hate you

Vox: Scratch that, they changed the channel

And we can't sell the scandal

Hope you had fun, but we are done with you

Your run has cancelled

We're finished, I'm not kidding

Get the fuck out of my building

Get the fuck out of my building!

Valentino & Velvette: Snip, snip, snip, bitch

Ooh, but if you know someone

You tell 'em that no one outdoes us

No one can outbuzz us

All they gotta do is—

Charlie: Come on in (The Vees: Come on down to V Tower)

Here's your key

All: And see how great your afterlife could be

Charlie: We can live in harmony

Valentino & Velvette: Why be nice when you can be famous?

Charlie: That's the Hazbin

The Vees: Sign and cash in

Charlie: Guarantee!

Vox: Yeah, right, bitch

Trust me, just me

Trust—

Us, no, I—

I meant to say us!

Velvette: Uh-huh

Valentino: Yeah, okay